Wedding Thank You Note Etiquette

Wedding Thank You Note Etiquette

In the age of 140-character greetings, mass emails, and e-vites, one would think that thank you notes are no longer important. Not true – weddings are one of the last hold-out occasions where a hand-written thank you card is still the norm.

For our thank you note etiquette rules, we turn to none other than Grand Dame of etiquette, Emily Post.

Ms. Post says that thank you notes for wedding gifts (including thank yous for contributions to your Zankyou gift registry!) should be sent out within three months of the wedding.

Here is a list of 10 Wedding Thank You Do’s and Don’ts from Emily Post:

  1. Do personalize your notes and make reference to the person as well as the gift.
  2. Do remember that a gift should be acknowledged with the same courtesy and generous spirit in which it was given.
  3. Do be enthusiastic, but don’t gush. Avoid saying a gift is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen unless you really mean it.
  4. Don’t send form letters or cards with printed messages and just your signature; don’t use email or post a generic thank you on your wedding website in lieu of a personal note.
  5. Do promptly acknowledge the receipt of shipped gifts by sending a note right away or calling and following up with a written note in a day or two.
  6. Don’t mention that you plan to return a gift or that you are dissatisfied in any way.
  7. Don’t tailor your note to the perceived value of the gift; no one should receive a perfunctory note.
  8. Do refer to the way you will use a gift of money. Mentioning the amount is optional. *A good tip for Zankyou registry contributions!
  9. Don’t include wedding photos or use photo cards if it will delay sending the note.
  10. Don’t use being late as an excuse not to write. Even if you are still sending notes after your first anniversary, keep writing!

In addition to sending thank you notes to anyone who was kind enough to give you a bridal shower or wedding gift, Ms. Post also suggest that you write out your appreciation in cards to your wedding party, your parents, and anyone else who contributed to the wedding. You can also write thank-you notes to service providers like your caterer or officiant if you were especially pleased with their participation in your wedding day.

If you’re on the hunt for beautiful thank you notes or custom stationery, we like the following vendors:

Hello! Lucky

Wedding Paper Divas


Etsy seller Nouveau Designs

Bella Figura

Puro Papel

Happy thank-you note writing! We know your friends and family will be happy to hear from you!

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