Wedding Registry Advice: how to ask for money

Asking for money is never an easy thing; however, as more and more couples are living together before marriage, traditionally wedding gifts, which were given to help the newlywed couple to set up their new life together, are no longer needed. Luckily, wedding registries are modernizing along with attitudes and the rest of the wedding industry and now it´s easier to ask for what you really need.

To ask or not to ask for cash?

The hardest part is the asking – many couples feel uncomfortable asking for cash instead of gifts for fear of offending their guests. To learn more about whether or not it’s rude to ask for money for your wedding, click here. But worry not, we´ve outlined the most tactful ways to ask for a gift of cash.

Image: Tiara Photography
Image: Tiara Photography

Be Direct

Nothing looks more suspicious than dancing around the subject and nothing is worse than receiving gifts you don´t want or need. Be direct and make it easy for your guests to find information on how and what kinds of gifts you´d like to receive. There are several ways to achieve this:

  1. Mention it in your invitations: include a “no gifts, please” or “no boxed gifts” line directly in your formal invitations. Follow up with more information on what gifts you would like on your wedding website.
  2. Add a poetic “in lieu of gifts” wording or poem to your invitation enclosures: who doesn’t like a poem? You can find several short limericks or longer poems that´ll help you ask guests for cash instead of physical gifts.
  3. [If you don´t want to put any reference to gifts at all in your wedding invitation or its enclosures] Mention it in your wedding website: including a registry section in your wedding website will make it easy for guests to find all the important information they need on your wedding in one place. Zankyou is a great resource for this type of service.
  4. Have your friends and family spread the word: they are your reference points for guests who can’t reach you directly. Make sure they convey the correct information by word of mouth – this is also aided by having the information clearly stated on your wedding website.

Be Specific

If you´re going to ask for cash the polite thing to do is let you guests know what they are contributing towards and how you intend to spend their gifts. It´s not rude, in fact, we guarantee your friends and family would rather give something that they know you want rather than have to guess.

The easiest way to do this is through an online cash registry like Zankyou where you can elegantly and easily show your guests exactly what you need. You can list any number of options such as elements of your honeymoon like spa treatments, romantic dinners, or entrances to a museum or popular tourist attraction at your destination, or that new stereo system you´ve been dreaming about, or even a future baby fund.

If you and your intended are lucky enough to have everything you need, you can also donate your cash gifts to a charity of your choice or cause you support.

Be Prepared

Be prepared to receive traditional gifts. These are gifts after all and you want to guide, not dictate to your guests what you´d like – the choice of gift is ultimately always up to the giver. You can mitigate this by setting up a small traditional registry for the guests who prefer to send a physical gift. But that doesn´t mean you can´t be creative with it!

Even small specialty stores have registries these days. Are you a kayak enthusiast? Register at an outdoor store. A painter? Register at an arts supply store.

Be Thankful

Lastly, always remember to say thank you and send your guests a note of appreciation for their attendance and gifts. You can also update them on the progress of their gifts if they contributed to moments in your honeymoon or toward renovating your home.

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Comments (1)

Dorie
April 14, 2016

Thanks for the information. As my fiance’ and I are a mature couple we are not as familiar with asking for money. Although that is what we really need. Whether for honeymoon, or house renovations. We will be able to express that in a more comfortable way on the website. Which is also a new concept for us.

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