Things Couples Should Discuss Before Getting Married

by JaneJuly 12, 2011 1

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A couple in disagreement

Before saying yes to “will you marry me?”,  there are vital questions couples should discuss before saying their I Do’s. Most couples seem to think that they know the person they are going to marry. But physical attraction and spiritual connection may nott be enough for even those couples who are madly deeply in love. This is part 1 of a three-part series: Zankyou pre-marital relationship advice for couples soon tying the knot. We will cover the essential issues couples should discuss before walking down the aisle. Let’s look at our first three topics: Finance, Career and Where you want to live.

A fight over finances

#1. Finance
Money is the principal factor in all divorces. You should disclose your financial health, agree about financial goals and create a financial plan for you as a couple. One may make more than the other, and the expectations may be that the breadwinner will contribute more. Will you have separate accounts or a joint one? Who is the saver and who is the spender?  Who will be responsible for making sure the bills get paid? Get everything out in the open so there is no miscommunication about your money together or apart. It is important to clarify expectations and try to meet them as a couple.

A two-household income or not?

#2. Career
Who will stay at home and who will make the living? Will it be a two-household income? Gender roles have dramatically changed and it is not unusual to see the man as the homemaker and the woman as the sole breadwinner for the family. We all evolve and change dramatically throughout our relationship. Who works when and how long could always change. Be sensitive to your partner’s needs and always be open to evolving together.

Do we live here?

#3. Where you want to live?
You met in the most romantic city in the world. Now comes the hard part. Where do you both want to live? Most arguments about geography are about jobs and family. It’s difficult for anyone to uproot his/her life and move to a totally strange city. Discuss the pros and cons of your move and remember, you are starting a new life with a person, not the city where you live. Home is where the heart is and casting roots in a new place is a beautiful experience to share in your marriage.

What is a deal breaker for you when it comes to marriage? Have you had marital conflicts in these areas? Please share your comments at the box below.